Second Sonogram: 10 weeks

We had our second sonogram at about 10 weeks. Everything continues to look great according to the doctor. She had a hard time getting a good angle for the picture but when she finally did, it turned out cute. This time you could actually tell there was a little baby in there. We were proud so once again, we took a family pic.

First Sonogram

Luckily, just as soon as I started to feel sick in the mornings, I was only days away from having my first appointment with Dr. Bertsch, my OBGYN. I waited it out and thankfully during that time I had had a long stretch of days off work. Although I have no complaints now, it was pretty awful at the time. I am sure fellow mommy's understand the misery of waking up around 4am to hover your head over the toilet and vomit uncontrollably the nothing that is left in your stomach. For those few days, 4 to be exact, I would just go sleep in the other room to avoid going back and forth to our bedroom waking up Forrest at the worst time in the morning, right before he has to really get up for work. He was so sweet about it, always asking if I was okay, and coming into the other bedroom to lay with me anyways.

The morning of my appointment, I am not sure if I was more excited about getting our first sonogram or getting a prescription for zofran. It was truly a close call. Forrest met me at the doctor's office and of course was with me the whole time. We started the appointment with a discussion on how I have been feeling followed by the moment I had been dreaming for... seeing the doctor pull out her prescription pad. One step closer to getting that darn zofran. Next we just discussed different things, medical history, family history, first trimester, what to expect, diet, do's and don'ts, etc. Then she had me get on the table, undress from waist down, for the dreadful transvaginal ultrasound. Boy do I look forward to the days we don't have to do those anymore. Uncomfortable, but well worth it. The first sonogram experience was truly a milestone. It was a moment where I realized I could really call myself pregnant as silly as that sounds given all the other clues. I guess peeing on a stick is just not that exciting and validating to me and regardless, there is nothing as reassuring as hearing a tiny, miraculous little heart beat.... at barely 7 weeks.

Overall, my appointment went well. Working in labor and delivery, I am already familiar with the OBGYN's in this area including Dr. Bertsch, so it was nice getting to sit down with a familiar face and with someone who I have seen her work and already trust. Overall the ultrasound went well. The doctor said everything looked perfect. I can't wait until the next ultrasound to see how much he/she has grown and to just make sure all is still okay. We are already proud of the little dot on the sonogram picture, knowing it doesn't look like much now, but that it is the start of something very big for us.

Telling Forrest then Telling Family

Forrest and I went to dinner the night I found out I was pregnant. I tried to think of maybe a creative way to tell him, or special place I could take him. Instead, I kept it a secret and just thought maybe the right time would just come. We go eat at our favorite hole in the wall restaurant in Hempstead, really the only place to eat. On our way there I was silent, a change for me so of course Forrest noticed. He asked me if everything was okay and I said yes but could not look him in the eyes. We go inside, sit down, and immediately our waitress brings us chips and salsa. We start eating and I realize that I am so anxious, I physically cannot swallow a chip. My heart was racing. I was without a doubt having at least a mild panic attack. I could not find any words to say much less those important ones I needed to.

After devouring several chips, Forrest eventually looked up from the table and realized I was just not myself (mainly because I was not devouring chips too). From there I don't know what happened, really, somehow it came out of my mouth as he asked what's wrong. Although I can't remember exactly what I said, I am a little glad I did not have a camera to document it all. The greater memories came later after coming home and talking about it. The shock was just so much and at a restaurant and out of no where! Wish I could say it was one of those moments where we were both overjoyed with tears or jumping up from the table with excitement, but no that is not the case.

Having said that, things took a turn later that night and even more so as the days went by. We came to a point where we were both over the initial shock and more focused on being excited. Forrest even came home a couple days later with a Babies R Us catalog, then plopped down on the couch to go through it. 

So... to sum up Forrest's reaction with two pictures: The first represents his initial reaction...

Then later that night, he became more like this:

The next day I called my Sister and my parents to tell them. It was my Sister's birthday and they were enjoying a day out on the beach. She was so thrilled and so proud. She said it was the best birthday present she could ask for. My Mom cried, then she balled. My dad was excited but I think not too happy with me because they were in Iowa visiting his family and I told him not to tell anyone. He is not the greatest secret keeper, but he did me proud on this one.

Then that night, we told Forrest's parents. We were going to take them out to dinner to celebrate but they had started some projects on the ranch. I knew I was going to see Cheri all day on Monday (we had a girls' outing planned) and there was no way I was going to be able to keep it from her. So we interrupted their evening anyways to tell them. They were both super excited. Something so neat about this moment was that Forrest's dad said he was on his tractor earlier that day, and he had this feeling that something was about to change in their lives. He thought to himself, "I know what it is... Bubba and Moof are going to have a baby." Then, can you believe it, we broke the news to them that very night. 

Taking a Moment

So as soon as I say this, it is going to be obvious what this blog is about. Especially since it is something that we have been asked about for the last four years, understandably. Anyways, here goes.
So today marks the day that I am one week late. After being several days late, I told myself I would wait until one full week before taking a pregnancy test but I couldn’t help myself. I took one 3 days ago and the test was negative.

I had mixed thoughts about the idea of being pregnant after taking that test. I was relieved. Then I felt guilty for feeling relieved . I couldn’t help but think about all of the couples who try for years and finally do, or in some cases never do. Then I started to feel scared, like what if we are one of those couples or what if there is something wrong with me, and I cannot have children. What if it is my fault. Hopefully all these thoughts are normal, I really do not want to allow myself to get anxious about things in life.

There was a side of me that was disappointed, honestly. I guess I am more ready than I realize. The thought of moving on to the next chapter, taking that next step is really exciting. We know what a big decision it is to have a child and are really more ready now than we have ever been in our marriage. I have thought for a long time that the  idea would be to have the timing all planned out but as time goes by, I realize that trying to plan is stressful. We could always have more money, a bigger house, cars and things paid off, we will always have a wedding coming up or trip we wanted to go on. There will always be something. And the thought of it just happening felt kind of nice. Like a weight lifted off our shoulders and a reminder that God is in control.

So that was a few days ago. Yesterday, I still had not started so I took the second test that came in the package. Waited and waited, seeing just this tiny faint line next to a big bold red line. It even seemed to flicker at first. I wasn’t sure of what to think and I knew I needed to get ready for work. I set it under the bathroom counter, hiding it. I went on to work, a little in denial that that was a positive result. Tried not to think about it at work, but remember where I work? Labor and delivery. My patient that day was a 22 yo 17 week gestation, IUFD which means intrauterine fetal demise. I really bonded with her, sympathizing so much more with her and realizing how sad she must be. I deliver living babies so much more than ones that didn’t make it and after a while, you start to forget what a little miracle it is for everything to go right.

After work, I stopped by HEB on the way home to get another box of tests. I did not take it right away, believe it or not I was that tired that I just wanted to go straight to sleep! I woke up about an hour ago, went straight to the bathroom to take a test. Result was positive.

I have an annual OBGYN appt this week (how perfect on the timing, right?) so I guess I will know more of an answer then. I cannot wait until then to tell Forrest, I have no idea how to tell him. He is my husband and best friend, and never ever have I been so anxious about telling him something. This trumps all those times I spent too much money on something and had to tell him or else he would see it on our statement. Ha ha. Anyways, he is working outside with his dad on the fence. I thought I better take a moment now to gather my thoughts and figure out what I am going to say before he comes inside…

IRONMAN TEXAS

“Forrest Couch….Hempstead, TX…. YOU ARE AN IRONMAN, SON!”
The words said from the announcer as Forrest was just feet away from crossing the finish line of the IRONMAN, a triathlon consisting of a 2.4 mi swim, 112 mi bike, and 26.2 mi run.
I have been looking forward to writing this blog but at the same time, honestly, I have been procrastinating. I feel like this is one of the most worthy blogs I will ever write, and I hope that my words here will somehow capture at least a fraction of the pride and excitement felt on that day.
I am excited to tell the story because it gives me a chance to re-live  the day, a day filled with immense, individual accomplishment, a day given to us by God to remind us the blessing of love and support from family (a day given to us by God period) and truly a day that will be remembered for the rest of our lives.
The date was May 23, 2011. This was the first ever IRONMAN in Texas. It took place in the Woodlands which besides the heat, wind, and humidity  (kind of important factors in a triathlon) it ultimately was a nice place to have it. The weekend before was perfect weather but we cannot complain as the weekend after was worse. Forrest was prepared, he anticipated the heat, had trained under our Texas blazing sun and against the record breaking fierce wind, and knew no matter what, this was going to be the most physically challenging event he has ever participated in. Ever.
Friday morning, the day before the race, we checked into our hotel. Forrest got his bike ready then racked and we check out the swim start as it was all set up by now.
Trying to prepare, what do you do the night before? Stock up on carbs of course, which the family appreciated. We carried on the triathlon tradition by dining at Buca di Beppo.

After an early dinner, we came back to the hotel and the “cheer squad” had a quick practice before the big game.

We go to bed early after setting our alarms for 430am, but in the morning we realize there was no need for an alarm clock. We hear a knock on our door at 4 in the morning, only to find that Cheri is dressed and ready to go with her ironman tattoo on and everything.  We watch as Forrest’s nerves are in high gear as he gets the last of his things together before we head out the doors of the hotel. Might be one of the biggest “did we get everything?” moments ever. We get to the event site, Forrest’s dad parks the truck while Cheri and I walk with Forrest to the transition area. After setting up, it is time to walk to the swim start, about a mile away, where we will meet the rest of the crew.

View of swim start

    

 

A little humor…

Before a sweet, heart felt prayer led by Dede

A hug and kiss before the big moment.

National Anthem

Just minutes from starting

Unfortunately, we did not have a good place to watch him start the swim, and besides that, it was hard to tell which one was him in the midst of the swim cap chaos! It is tradition in IRONMAN events that all participants start together instead of in waves like in other triathlons, so it was like playing where’s waldo when looking for him.

On our way to the swim finish, we took a picture on the bridge which was a great view of a portion of the swim course. Notice I said “portion” which gives you an idea of how long 2.4 mi is in water.

We all split up to increase our chances of seeing him after the swim. Cheri and I stuck together and found a small window of a place to stand where we could barely see around a 6’ 5’’ tall man, not exaggerating. We waited and waited hoping he would see his loved one and leave, getting yelled at in the meantime by 2 event volunteer ladies that were trying to clear where we were standing. I really think between me and Cheri’s raging emotions that day, we would have started a commotion had that monster of a man not left when he did. So lucky for those ladies, we got our spot, were “out of the way” now, and it was just a matter of time until we saw him.

Then we did, finally, saw that bald head that caused us to mistaken about 20 people before him. Our hearts were racing, cameras were in hand and ready, and prayers were being said immediately thanking God that things appeared to be going okay. Phew! We thought, and one down only two to go… 

SWIM TIME:  1:46:58

Check out his Dad in this picture, he had seen Forrest get out of the water, called Cheri to tell us to be ready, then ran along beside Forrest until this point. He is still on phone with Cheri, and cannot get over to where we are at because it would cross the race course.

 

Now he is off to the transition where he will get on his bike gear, and head out towards to bike transition. And that means we are off too, off to fighting for another good spot. My pictures are blurry here because I was trying to video and snap at the same time.

 

Now that Forrest is off on his bike at this point, we all know we will have several hours of time to kill before we will get to see him again since the bike ride is one giant 112 mi loop.  We all go find places to eat, Amberly and their family go back to the hotel. After eating, Cheri, Big Forrest, and I check out the finish line.

Earlier, we had set up an area where we could all sit and relax during the bike portion. We headed back to that spot to watch the athletes and wait for Forrest although we had several hours to go. Throughout the race there are specific check points where you can  go online and track them to see if they have passed a certain point.  On the bike there is one at the half way mark so we kept refreshing the tracker page to see if he had crossed it.

  

YAY my Sister and Mom showed up!!! Here they are making their way through the crowds.

 

 

When it came close to the time that we anticipated seeing Forrest, Amberly decided to head about a street over to wait for him, that way she could call us and let us know when he passed her. Then my Sister went to take pictures across from where we were standing (genius) so that we would all be in the background of the pictures. The plan worked perfectly and as you can see we fired him up, as he gave us a little fist pump!

 

BIKE TIME:  7:11:30

Next up is the run. We did not get to see him run out because instead we wanted to get a view from the bridge which was still within the first mile of his run. He looked up and waved with a big smile on his face as his legs were still adjusting to running.

We again, the queens of finding good spots, planted ourselves at mile 5 so we could see him again. And this time, we would finally be close enough to reach out and touch him.

I am still in love with this moment.

 

So back to the camp site we go. We will see him again at mile 9.

 

 

And here he comes, after 9 miles! Looking good and happy to see everyone. Everyone gets a high five.

 

Then again at mile 18.

 

Look at that stud, and only 8 more miles to go!

So we pack up our things and head towards the finish line area. There were stands right next to the finish line but they were packed. Cheri, Amberly, and I decide to scope everything out and try to find a good place to wait. Amberly finds a spot back by the tents where the finishers run after they cross. I found a tiny spot on the front row of the closest stands and squeezed my way through. I waved to Cheri to meet me and text my Sister and Mom where I was. Eventually some people left and we were able to have about a half a row to ourselves.

I did the video while my Sister took the pictures. Everyone else was crying too much to work their cameras. As Forrest was running in to the finish, he heard my mom amongst all the loudness (my mom is VERY loud, you will hear in video so turn your volume down if it is all the way up). Anyways, he turned around just feet away from the finish line to come see us and I was thinking WHAT IS HE DOING!? My eyes went big and I didn’t know what to think! I guess I was a little star struck or something, I don’t know (it made Forrest feel so good when I told him that later. Ha ha). He finds me and waves me down to give him a kiss then says “I love you Bird” in my ear. Then he turned around and headed back to the finish line, crossing just seconds later. The feeling was indescribable for the both of us.

 

I think my Mom was a little star struck too…

RUN TIME: 5:28:46

Total Time: 14:47:58

 

Forrest and I enjoy reflecting back on the day of the IRONMAN. I will never forget what he said to me one day in the car as we were talking about it. He said that during the run as he was getting close to finishing, he has never felt so alive. Then I happen to come across this quote shortly after that conversation.
“Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, & go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive...”